As you may know from previous posts, or just from being around me in general, I am not a very patient person. Honestly, I'm not sure I know what patience actually means. I am also not sure exactly what it looks like in my own life. So, in an attempt to not sound stupid, I will not try and explain what I think patience is, but rather what I hear I think the Bible is telling me I should be patient towards...okay I'm not sure if that's exactly what I'll be doing, but hang with me.
The point is, I am terrible at waiting for things. When I was a kid (and by that I mean this past year) I got really anxious waiting for my Christmas and birthday presents. Nowadays I find myself saying things like "I can't wait for ________ to happen" or "I can't wait for this weekend," or something else equally as insignificant in the overall scheme of life.
But still, when those things don't happen as quickly as I'd like them to, Like I said, I'm really bad at waiting for things. The most apparent examples in my life right now are waiting for graduation, waiting for my support to come in for the internship, and waiting for marriage.
What I have also found is that it is harder to wait for things you KNOW are going to happen. For example, it's a lot harder for me to wait until dinner time to eat if I know that what I'm eating is going to be incredibly delicious. Which, by the way, it rarely is if I make it myself...
That being said, I constantly realize that I'm waiting for something that I know is going to happen. I often tell Maddie that "I cannot WAIT to be married..." As if that will ease all of our relational burdens and take away all my frustrations and make me perfectly loving and humble and servile. What's sad is that I REALLY DO feel like that will make everything right a lot of the time. I feel like all my problems will be taken away, like we won't fight at all, like we'll be happy and spiritually healthy all the time because we will be married. Obviously I know that is not the case. You can lecture me on that another time.
Now, to the point of this blog.
What I've learned over the last year is that I am actively waiting for all the wrong things.
I don't mean that I shouldn't be happy to graduate, or to start ministry with RUF, or to be married. I believe that I should rejoice in all of those things. But I should not be longing for those things more than I long for the second coming of the King.
One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 27. The first six verses of the Psalm tell me what God has promised for me; the victory that will be accomplished, and that I will dwell with God forever and see him face to face. The next six verses are pleas for God to be present, to lead me, to be faithful in His promises. Then the last two verses are statements of belief and response. It ends with this:
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
I know for a fact that if I waited for the Lord half as much as I wait for anything else, my life would look a lot different. I would be less anxious. I would get less frustrated. I would love my family, my neighbors, and my enemies a heck of a lot more than I do now.
And that's because right now, I'm impatiently waiting for things that I think will satisfy me and fill me up. In reality I am putting my hope and my security in things that will never quench the thirst I have for something that will give me life.
I am restlessly seeking out things that will never give me rest.
While it is going to be great to have a wife, a college degree, and a full-time job, that will never fill me up. That won't solve my problems, ease my pains, or make me new. The only thing that will quench this thirst and restore my soul is the redemption that will come and is coming when Jesus Christ returns to make all things new.
Tomorrow is Good Friday. If you don't know what that is, that is the day in the liturgical calendar on which we reflect on the death of the unblemished lamb on the behalf of sinners like me; the day Jesus died on the Cross. Sunday is Easter. That is the day we celebrate His resurrection. The day He conquered death and purchased my redemption.
And as far as I am concerned, I think every other day I should be focused on reflecting on, rejoicing in, and longing for the second coming of my Savior. That is what I should be talking about when I say, "I can't WAIT for this to happen." I love Maddie, but she is never going to make me a new creation. But Jesus has, and is, and will.
On a practical level, I wonder how much different my life would look if I wanted Jesus to return as badly as I wanted to be married. Or as badly as I want to be done with college. Or as badly as I want to have all my support raised for RUF. What would my conversations be about? How would I talk to people about the gospel? What would I spend my time thinking about?
Waiting eagerly for the Lord's return would make me a way better advocate of the gospel. It would put God in the forefront of my mind. It would cause me to value Him more and to cherish this world less. It would cause less pain to wait for God than it would to wait for anything on this earth, because this earth will leave me empty. And that's why I should be waiting for Jesus.
He will right the wrongs. He will undo the sadness. He will make all the bad things come un-true. Revelation 22 says:
“'Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end...Surely I am coming soon.' Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!"
