Hope Beyond the Hedges and Why Aaron Murray Isn't as Good as Jesus

So. Auburn. Drink it in, it will never go down smooth. It's like that shot of Tequilla that no one actually enjoys, but still they just grimace and take it like a man. I'm convinced that's what it will be like to talk about that game. Forever. It had shadows of the SEC Championship last year cast all over it too, didn't it? Too soon? Maybe. But after all it is a game; even when it doesn't feel like it, and no matter how heartbreaking it may be, it's just a game.
But we still remember the feeling we had as the clock struck 00:00.00 in the Georgia Dome. Some fans were shocked, literally to the point of silence for an extended period of time. Some cried. Some wept. Some were too confused to do either. Some sat unmoving for a while trying to process what just happened, and how we didn't deserve that game to end the way that it did. Some still held their heads high and cheered on the team as they walked back to the locker room. But this time it was Auburn that did it, not Alabama. The state of Alabama is not sweet. That Lynyrd Skynyrd is full of it.
But in my mind, Saturday was a victory even though it doesn't say so on our record. And most recognizably, Aaron Murray was the hero that we have all known him to be for the last four seasons. He has proven to us that he is a man indeed. In this game alone he led 3 inspiring scoring drives in the last 10 minutes of play to lead us to what we were all sure would be another sweet, sweet victory over our troubled friends from Auburn. Murray did "put da team on his back doe." He did everything he possibly could have and still somehow Georgia ended up on the losing side. And Georgia wept.
Now here's my question:...(s)
When is the last time we wept over the brokenness of a sinful world and our hard hearts instead of over a broken football season? When is the last time we sat in silence for 30 minutes meditating on the reality of grace, rather than the reality of a tough loss? When is the last time we sang ourselves hoarse in church instead of yelling ourselves hoarse at a football game? When is the last time we spent an hour after church evaluating the worship service "play-by-play" with our friends and talked about how incredible "that one moment was"? When is the last time we couldn't wait to get home to read commentaries on the gospel passage that was preached on, rather than reading commentaries on a football game we just spent 6 hours out of our day to see? When is the last time we showed up early to church so we could get the best seats? When is the last time we were so excited to listen to a pastor preach that we literally sat outside of the sanctuary for 4 hours and talked about all the possible outcomes and topics of the sermon? When is the last time we cheered our hearts out, jumped up and down, hugged random strangers, gave high fives, and clapped along to a glorious fight song because a single person came to know the Lord as their Eternal Savior, rather than over a 5 yard touchdown run?

Do you get my point?

In case you guys didn't catch it, these are rhetorical questions. (Thank you public education for clever ways of making people feel guilty without actually calling them out.)
Disclaimer: I need to ask myself these questions more than anyone, I promise. My dad always used to ask my me and my siblings, "Where's the gospel in this?" and, "How is this going to effect your salvation?" Bottom line is; football will not effect your salvation. Aaron Murray's performance on the field will not earn you a spot in Heaven, no matter how "Good of a Damn Dawg" he is. He will not die for you so that you can spend eternity with him in a constant state of bliss over being National Championships. He doesn't have the authority to lose a game but then come back in three days and change Georgia's record to being undefeated and give the fans bragging rights over all other teams. Aaron Murray cannot put the hopes of all Georgia fans on his back alone and promise us everlasting joy. He cannot be our savior, so let's stop trying to make him one.

Let me hit ya with this though. Jesus has all authority in Heaven and on earth. Wham, blindsided, right? No. You knew it was coming because we all know in our heart of hearts that Jesus is King. He is the One who has the say on who "wins" or "loses" forever. His gospel shows us that at the end of our lives we will not look back and wish that we had been to more Georgia games, or that we had won more National Championships...or at least one... When we are on our deathbed I guarantee we will be thinking about what is coming next. And I assure you, it's not another Georgia game. John Piper says, "At the end of every road is God. You will meet him as light and life or as fire and torment." And when we meet God, He will not ask us about how many times you "dapped up" Todd Gurley. He will not ask us about where we were the night of November 16, 2013. He will either welcome us in as good and faithful servants, or He will say "I never knew you."

So yes...Georgia losing is sad. There is heartbreak, and there may even be cause for tears. But if we cry over anything this week, let's cry over the people who have no hope beyond the hedges. Let's attend football games and cheer loud and freak out when Georgia makes a great play. But let's do so in a manner that glorifies God. And the way to glorify God in the midst of a football game is by cheering in such a way that proclaims that you have a joy that is not dependent on football; cheering in a manner that shows others that there is something greater awaiting us that deserves louder cheer. Because even the deafening roar of the stadium is just a miniscule portion of the roar of the redeemed in Heaven praising God for His being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.

So I repent for idolizing football, and I encourage you to as well. What is awesome is that we will be forgiven for putting football before God; for making Saturdays more important than Sundays; for making Aaron Murray greater than Jesus.

Go Jesus. Sic'em.

Honesty is Weird Sometimes

So recently I have come across a lot of those "confession" posts. Some of them are from years ago, some of them were posted this past week. I'm not talking about those little confessions that middle school girls do where they say "I think you're cute", or an "LMS for TBH" (which, if you don't know what that is, you need to catch up on your current abbrevs...Srsly.)
Anyways, I've never done one of these being honest things, mainly because I don't really think of myself as that interesting, and I'm an insecure sinner.
And I guess that is my first one. So, here we go.

1) I haven't done this before because deep down I'm afraid of what people will think of me. I'm pretty insecure, which ultimately is rooted in my pride. I desperately need Jesus everyday and the hope that the gospel brings that tells me I will be made new.
 2) I really wish I was awesome at extreme sports, and I'm super jealous of people who make time for those sorts of things. Unfortunately I'm too afraid of getting out of shape to do anything besides work out for physical activity.
3) I want to run a marathon...but first I should probably run a half marathon...and before that, I should probably at least run an official 5K. I mean, I "run", but I don't RUN. Ya know?
4) I don't do homework. I'm not sure why. I never have. I think I used to do a little bit when I was in elementary school, but that's mainly because your parents make you do it as soon as you get home from school before you go in the yard and pretend to be a soldier blowing up the enemy's base camp...right? Does that still happen, B-T-Dubs?
5) I want a huge family. Maybe that's because I'm an extrovert. Or maybe it's because I just want to prove to people that I can have a big family and be a good father. Not sure. I need to pray that I'll want a big family so that I can humble myself to serve them everyday. Because I'm actually going to be a terrible father who fails every day.

6) I need to pray more. A lot more. I always think that as long as I'm like every other Christian who is "trying, but feels awkward sitting down and talking to someone who isn't tangibly present", then I'm doing fine. But come on. We all know I just don't love God like I should.
7) I love cold weather. I don't know why, but I do. Maybe it's because cold weather automatically makes me feel like I'm in the mountains. And I want to always be in the mountains because I am in awe of God's creation...Okay you caught me. I always want to be in the mountains because I want to feel like a man who is self-sustained and can survive on my own, independent and rugged, with long hair and grizzly beard...and a pet husky. If that isn't a blatant indicator of how self-idolizing I am, I'm not sure what is.
8) But legitimately, I do absolutely love nature. I think it is incredible how mountains and valleys and canyons and caves and rivers and lakes and waterfalls and oceans and stars and clouds are so huge and can make me feel so small and insignificant. The positive side of nature is that it puts me in my place and helps me realize that I am tiny, and the world isn't about me.
9) I'm a grammar Nazi. I get it from my wonderful mother, who used to ALWAYS correct us every time we would use improper grammar, or the like...so typing that second sentence in number 8 actually kind of bothered me. I'll get over it.
10) I have seen the Appalachians, the Andes, the Himalayas, the Nile River, the Alps (technically), but I have never seen the Rocky Mountains or the Grand Canyon...something is wrong there. I mean, incredibly right...but wrong.

11) I want to hike the entire Appalachian Trail and the Great Wall of China. The sooner I get it through my head that I'm never going to have the time or opportunity to do either of those things, the sooner I can start being thankful for all the blessings God has given me right right here, right now.
12) I spend a majority of my free time eating, and looking up places that I wish I could go. I really need to rejoice in my glorious future instead of long for a place that I think will satisfy me; because as beautiful as this world is, it's all a dim picture of the glory that is awaiting me.
13) In case you haven't noticed, I love commas and "dot dot dots". I don't really know when that started, but I know that it will probably never stop. I am also a frequent user of the "dot dot" in texting. I feel like it conveys frustration. So watch out, all you people I text!
14) I secretly hate texting. It's not much of a secret anymore. I just get really annoyed with my phone, because it is the worst. It likes to delete numbers randomly, and to shut off right when I am about to make an important text or phone call.
15) I also hate iphones. Every time I get on a bus at UGA I see about 25 people engrossed in their phones, not making any sort of connection with anyone. I do it too, except usually I just tap on my phone and re-check my schedule for the eighth time that day... I still have no appointments? Man I'm lame.

16) I am sitting outside of the philosophy building right now in shorts and chacos. Are my toes cold? Maybe. But will I tell you they are cold? Not a chance. I'm a man. Duh.
17) A second ago, a guy came walking up in a black trench coat, a fedora, and he was juggling 3 hacky-sacks. As he attempted to walk up the three steps, he dropped one of the hacky-sacks right in front of me. At the same time that I laughed a tiny bit, I also feel so incredibly bad for him because I am sure that his attempt at being cool by juggling and walking up steps has backfired, and now I bet he feels insecure. I wonder if he knows Jesus. Maybe I am reading into stuff too much? I tend to do that.
18) I need to pray more. Did I already say that? Yeah, I did. And I'm saying it again, because that is how little I often make of prayer. I do a lot of talking with other believers about reaching out to unbelievers. I do a whole lot of little when it comes to praying for them and going to talk to them myself.
19) I don't think I'd be very good at street evangelism. I prefer reaching people through establishing some sort of a personal relationship with them. I just don't think that's for me.
20) If I make a mistake while typing, I will backspace all the way back to the mistake instead of use the scroller or the mouse to pinpoint the mistake. I just wipe out the whole sentence, fix it, then type it all over again. Is that an analogy for my life? IDKUTM.

21) For a person who has a fairly decent amount of outstanding books on my shelf in my apartment, I sure don't read as much as I could, or should, or want to.
22) I'm not a particularly great musician in any one area. I can hold my own in a couple instruments, but I am very sub-par compared to most musicians out there. For example, most musicians I ever play with are at least twice as good as me. That's always fun...
23) Going along with the whole not reading thing, I haven't read as many theological writings as I wish I would. Or church history. Or anything along those lines. For a guy who feels called to the ministry I sure don't do a good job at preparing myself for it. Uh oh.
24) I also don't know any philosophy. I can't tell you a thing about Plato, Socrates, or Aristotle's thoughts.
25) I'm super proud of the family I come from. I love boasting on my parents, siblings, in-laws, nephews, nieces...and I hold fast to the belief that my nieces and nephews are the cutest babies that have ever existed. I'm not biased though. I swear.

26) I don't often get in moods where I want to write, but when I do, it's a doozy. I have sat before and written for hours. That is not an exaggeration. It is literal. But of course, I don't ever let people read what I write. I'm way too insecure to let people do that. I feel like I express myself a lot in what I write, so to let people see that means I am vulnerable. And I already told you, I'm a man. So yeah.
27) I love tart flavored frozen yogurt, and beefy 5 layer burritos. I also love cold pizza. I may like it more than hot pizza sometimes. That could be a stretch though.
28) I have only been to the library to study once in college, and that was only because 3 of my roommates last year were going and I was afraid that something funny would happen and I would miss out on it.
29) The only bone I have ever broken is my nose. Caffeine doesn't effect me unless I haven't eaten all day. I also don't know the difference in Effect and Affect. I don't like sodas (usually). I am not a huge fan of sweets. But if you put any sort of entree in front of me, or any salty side item, I will eat it. I am a garbage disposal. I also tried like 6 different titles for this post. I am not quite content with what I finally landed on. Oh well. God is still good, all the time.
30) This post has gone on far too long. And I am super weird. And I haven't even scratched the surface of how quirky, prideful, and sinful I am. Hopefully you get the idea.

Here's to hoping that I'm going to update my blog more regularly!

Uganda

 This picture happened when two of the oldest ladies in the village came to thank us for being there. Virtually all they knew to say to us was, "Thank you so much. Praise the Lord. Amen."

Baby goats...enough said.






This was the team in ATL before taking off!

Robert was legitimately a rockstar to all of these children. He had a herd follow him up and down the mountain, mimicking his every move and repeating what he was chanting.

 This group is from the last village we went to. They were such beautiful people, with beautiful homes.

 These were some of the younger boys in the first village. They were super sweet and very animated.

Learning to be Healed

     I went to Uganda this summer. I also worked as an intern for the greatest youth summer conference ever, Reformed Youth Ministries. Then to top it all off, I went to Mexico for a week. So, needless to say I was feeling pretty good about myself when I got back to Athens about 3 weeks ago; I was just about as holy as any college person could get. I mean come on, I spent my entire summer "in service to others." I gave up a lot of things that I had no intention of giving up! And I submitted to authority on so many levels! I grew and I learned and I gained experience, and I knew it. I felt like a servant, finally, and I'm sure other people saw me that way as well.

      But the truth is, I'm probably the only one thinking that about myself right now. I don't know if my family could realistically say, "Joel served us this summer more than he served himself. The times he was here were spent putting us first and counting us more significant than himself." I know for a fact my friends wouldn't say that! I don't think that the Ugandans that I encountered are over there right now thinking, "We could not have gotten through this summer without the service that Joel performed for us."  I know for sure that any other 20 year old guy who enjoys dancing and pumping up high schoolers could have been just as effective as I was at RYM. And any hard worker could've -and did- bust up just as much concrete as me in Mexico.

      So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not irreplaceable. I'm not special. I'm not superior to anyone, more influential than every other believer, wiser than every other college student, or more experienced than every other short-term missionary.  And I don't know if I realized that until the end of this summer when a brick wall of humility collapsed on top of me. Let me tell you a portion of what, and how, I learned this summer.

God meets us where we are.

    

First of all let me tell you details about what I actually DID this summer. I kicked it off with Uganda. I'll say here what I've told everyone: 

"Overall it was an incredible trip. There were definitely challenging moments, and the culture was a lot different, but it gave me a lot of hope for what has been done there and what can be done there in the future. It was great to experience that third-world aspect and be a part of something bigger for even such a short amount of time as 3 weeks."

      Now this is all true. But keeping in step with the idea of meeting people where they were, let me tell you how these things apply. In order to minister to these villagers in Uganda I had to actually go there and do it. I could not wait for them to meet me at the airport or meet me halfway in Amsterdam. I had to fly to Entebbe, Uganda and ride 7 hours north until we eventually hit a bumpy dirt road and couldn't see power lines anymore. We set up big tents with cots and ate mangos, rice, beans, and cabbage for 3 weeks in the middle of this village. In order to encounter the people we encountered, we had to go to them. We couldn't wait for them to come to us, because they never would have been able to!

      Then I came back from Uganda and 3 days later I drove 6 hours down to Panama City Beach. With every youth group that came to this conference I asked their leaders and students, "Where are you from, have you been here before, what church are you with, how many students did you bring, are you doing MegaRec and sports, how was the drive down here?" Obviously this is a completely different set of issues. New small-talk. New atmosphere. New understanding of how relationships worked compared to things in Uganda. And I thought I was doing a pretty good job at relating to these leaders and students. I thought I did a pretty good job at meeting people and asking what was going on with them and how I could serve them. I met people where they were!

      Then 4 days after RYM I headed down to Mexico. That was another way that I literally met people where they were...which was in a children's home. Now that fact in itself already had me feeling pretty good about myself. Then when we got there I just got even more self righteous. I hung out with those kids. I let them play with my hair. I threw them up in the air and tried to speak Spanish to them. When we went to the beach I let five kids at once hang on my neck, shoulders, and arms in the salty, raging ocean. In the mornings I did some serious demolition, knocking out these huge concrete slabs to level the ground where they wanted to start building a new boy's dormitory. Then every afternoon I played guitar at our very own version of VBS and sang with them...in Spanish. Once again, I was doing a great job at meeting people where they were.

      And I'll tell you what; all this meeting people where they were stuff was making me feel a lot like Jesus. Because I knew that Jesus met all helpless people where they were! So I was being the help to all the helpless now. Jesus went to the places that no one else wanted to in order to find the broken people, and I was pretty sure that's what I was doing.

If only I realized how blind I was!

      Brent Harriman, one of the RUF Area Coordinators, was the fantastic speaker at RYM Senior High Florida Week One. All of his sermons were about how Jesus met people where they were, the last one being about ourselves. Now I must have heard the first 3 where he talked about Saul soon to be Paul on the road to Damascus, the woman at the well, and the crippled man at the healing pool. However, apparently I let myself graze over the last sermon he gave. Because that wasn't the one I wanted to hear.

      And that seemed to be one of the main themes of my summer, unfortunately.

By this point I was sure I had it all figured out. I thought that I was supposed to meet people where they were, and not even consider the fact that Jesus was and is meeting me right where I am; in the middle of my extremely broken, pride-ridden, sin-consuming, self-sufficient lifestyle that I played off as a life of servitude by taking hard trips and great internships. I didn't even entertain the idea that I was the self righteous person that Christ was meeting on my own road to Damascus; or that I was repeatedly going back to this well to get water, only to need more in a couple of hours because it would never satisfy. I didn't think that I needed the kind of healing that Jesus gives. As Brent said,

"It's not that we don't want to be healed. It's that we don't want God to heal us."

      Because many times, ironically enough, being healed hurts. Maybe not physically. But emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Being healed by Christ is a direct attack of our pride because what Christ does is make a declaration without giving us any say in the matter. He makes an indicative, then an imperative.

"You are well. Now sin no more!"

And that just doesn't sound like the kind of control that I always want to have.

     

     Tullian Tchividjian, in his book Jesus + Nothing = Everything is so adamant about reminding us that our salvation does not come from anything that we do, but in what Christ has already done on our behalf. He pounds this into your brain in 50 different ways, repeating all 50 statements at least 5 times each. But I am glad he does because that is exactly what I needed to realize all summer. I was so busy trying to live out a truth that I barely even understood myself. I needed to realize that ultimately nothing that I thought mattered really matters in comparison to knowing Christ. "Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of knowing Christ." (Philippians 3:7) Jesus is worth everything, and He has done everything, so now I can give up everything, "...in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ."  (v. 8-9) Throughout this whole summer, what I needed to realize was that He was meeting me in my brokenness. And He will continue to do so. He is faithful. "I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

      Now with this new knowledge I am free to be fearless. I don't have to worry about losing certain things. I don't have to worry about the way people look at me. I don't have to worry about not having friends. I don't have to worry about not being the best musician in the world. I don't have to worry about not being the best worker. I don't have to worry about not being the smartest in my class. I don't have to worry about being perfect. Again, as Tullian explains it,

"Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak.

Because Jesus won for me, I am free to lose.

Because Jesus was someone, I am free to be no one.

Because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary.

Because Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail."

And there is no fear in that, there is freedom!

      With this new knowledge I can give up control of the aspects of my life that I was clinging to with all my might. I can trust in His sovereignty. I can be patient. I can be bold. I can be honest. I can be broken. 

So every time I inevitably try and take control of my life again, I won't be afraid to say,

“Here, God, You take it! I don't want to try and be in control of this anymore. I give up. Have it all. Bind my wounds, and pick me up from this sick-bed that I've been laying in.” And just like I've experienced this summer the Lord will continuously say to me, “Don't you see I've already done it? You just lost sight of it because you were trying to be your own god. You haven't been listening for My voice, you haven't been searching for My face, you haven't been longing for the daily renewal that comes from being washed with My blood. But the good news is, I'm always here anyways. I chose you in the beginning, I am calling you now, and I will bring you home when the time comes. And all of this is because I love you; because I love you; because I love you; because I love you.”