Honesty is Weird Sometimes

So recently I have come across a lot of those "confession" posts. Some of them are from years ago, some of them were posted this past week. I'm not talking about those little confessions that middle school girls do where they say "I think you're cute", or an "LMS for TBH" (which, if you don't know what that is, you need to catch up on your current abbrevs...Srsly.)
Anyways, I've never done one of these being honest things, mainly because I don't really think of myself as that interesting, and I'm an insecure sinner.
And I guess that is my first one. So, here we go.

1) I haven't done this before because deep down I'm afraid of what people will think of me. I'm pretty insecure, which ultimately is rooted in my pride. I desperately need Jesus everyday and the hope that the gospel brings that tells me I will be made new.
 2) I really wish I was awesome at extreme sports, and I'm super jealous of people who make time for those sorts of things. Unfortunately I'm too afraid of getting out of shape to do anything besides work out for physical activity.
3) I want to run a marathon...but first I should probably run a half marathon...and before that, I should probably at least run an official 5K. I mean, I "run", but I don't RUN. Ya know?
4) I don't do homework. I'm not sure why. I never have. I think I used to do a little bit when I was in elementary school, but that's mainly because your parents make you do it as soon as you get home from school before you go in the yard and pretend to be a soldier blowing up the enemy's base camp...right? Does that still happen, B-T-Dubs?
5) I want a huge family. Maybe that's because I'm an extrovert. Or maybe it's because I just want to prove to people that I can have a big family and be a good father. Not sure. I need to pray that I'll want a big family so that I can humble myself to serve them everyday. Because I'm actually going to be a terrible father who fails every day.

6) I need to pray more. A lot more. I always think that as long as I'm like every other Christian who is "trying, but feels awkward sitting down and talking to someone who isn't tangibly present", then I'm doing fine. But come on. We all know I just don't love God like I should.
7) I love cold weather. I don't know why, but I do. Maybe it's because cold weather automatically makes me feel like I'm in the mountains. And I want to always be in the mountains because I am in awe of God's creation...Okay you caught me. I always want to be in the mountains because I want to feel like a man who is self-sustained and can survive on my own, independent and rugged, with long hair and grizzly beard...and a pet husky. If that isn't a blatant indicator of how self-idolizing I am, I'm not sure what is.
8) But legitimately, I do absolutely love nature. I think it is incredible how mountains and valleys and canyons and caves and rivers and lakes and waterfalls and oceans and stars and clouds are so huge and can make me feel so small and insignificant. The positive side of nature is that it puts me in my place and helps me realize that I am tiny, and the world isn't about me.
9) I'm a grammar Nazi. I get it from my wonderful mother, who used to ALWAYS correct us every time we would use improper grammar, or the like...so typing that second sentence in number 8 actually kind of bothered me. I'll get over it.
10) I have seen the Appalachians, the Andes, the Himalayas, the Nile River, the Alps (technically), but I have never seen the Rocky Mountains or the Grand Canyon...something is wrong there. I mean, incredibly right...but wrong.

11) I want to hike the entire Appalachian Trail and the Great Wall of China. The sooner I get it through my head that I'm never going to have the time or opportunity to do either of those things, the sooner I can start being thankful for all the blessings God has given me right right here, right now.
12) I spend a majority of my free time eating, and looking up places that I wish I could go. I really need to rejoice in my glorious future instead of long for a place that I think will satisfy me; because as beautiful as this world is, it's all a dim picture of the glory that is awaiting me.
13) In case you haven't noticed, I love commas and "dot dot dots". I don't really know when that started, but I know that it will probably never stop. I am also a frequent user of the "dot dot" in texting. I feel like it conveys frustration. So watch out, all you people I text!
14) I secretly hate texting. It's not much of a secret anymore. I just get really annoyed with my phone, because it is the worst. It likes to delete numbers randomly, and to shut off right when I am about to make an important text or phone call.
15) I also hate iphones. Every time I get on a bus at UGA I see about 25 people engrossed in their phones, not making any sort of connection with anyone. I do it too, except usually I just tap on my phone and re-check my schedule for the eighth time that day... I still have no appointments? Man I'm lame.

16) I am sitting outside of the philosophy building right now in shorts and chacos. Are my toes cold? Maybe. But will I tell you they are cold? Not a chance. I'm a man. Duh.
17) A second ago, a guy came walking up in a black trench coat, a fedora, and he was juggling 3 hacky-sacks. As he attempted to walk up the three steps, he dropped one of the hacky-sacks right in front of me. At the same time that I laughed a tiny bit, I also feel so incredibly bad for him because I am sure that his attempt at being cool by juggling and walking up steps has backfired, and now I bet he feels insecure. I wonder if he knows Jesus. Maybe I am reading into stuff too much? I tend to do that.
18) I need to pray more. Did I already say that? Yeah, I did. And I'm saying it again, because that is how little I often make of prayer. I do a lot of talking with other believers about reaching out to unbelievers. I do a whole lot of little when it comes to praying for them and going to talk to them myself.
19) I don't think I'd be very good at street evangelism. I prefer reaching people through establishing some sort of a personal relationship with them. I just don't think that's for me.
20) If I make a mistake while typing, I will backspace all the way back to the mistake instead of use the scroller or the mouse to pinpoint the mistake. I just wipe out the whole sentence, fix it, then type it all over again. Is that an analogy for my life? IDKUTM.

21) For a person who has a fairly decent amount of outstanding books on my shelf in my apartment, I sure don't read as much as I could, or should, or want to.
22) I'm not a particularly great musician in any one area. I can hold my own in a couple instruments, but I am very sub-par compared to most musicians out there. For example, most musicians I ever play with are at least twice as good as me. That's always fun...
23) Going along with the whole not reading thing, I haven't read as many theological writings as I wish I would. Or church history. Or anything along those lines. For a guy who feels called to the ministry I sure don't do a good job at preparing myself for it. Uh oh.
24) I also don't know any philosophy. I can't tell you a thing about Plato, Socrates, or Aristotle's thoughts.
25) I'm super proud of the family I come from. I love boasting on my parents, siblings, in-laws, nephews, nieces...and I hold fast to the belief that my nieces and nephews are the cutest babies that have ever existed. I'm not biased though. I swear.

26) I don't often get in moods where I want to write, but when I do, it's a doozy. I have sat before and written for hours. That is not an exaggeration. It is literal. But of course, I don't ever let people read what I write. I'm way too insecure to let people do that. I feel like I express myself a lot in what I write, so to let people see that means I am vulnerable. And I already told you, I'm a man. So yeah.
27) I love tart flavored frozen yogurt, and beefy 5 layer burritos. I also love cold pizza. I may like it more than hot pizza sometimes. That could be a stretch though.
28) I have only been to the library to study once in college, and that was only because 3 of my roommates last year were going and I was afraid that something funny would happen and I would miss out on it.
29) The only bone I have ever broken is my nose. Caffeine doesn't effect me unless I haven't eaten all day. I also don't know the difference in Effect and Affect. I don't like sodas (usually). I am not a huge fan of sweets. But if you put any sort of entree in front of me, or any salty side item, I will eat it. I am a garbage disposal. I also tried like 6 different titles for this post. I am not quite content with what I finally landed on. Oh well. God is still good, all the time.
30) This post has gone on far too long. And I am super weird. And I haven't even scratched the surface of how quirky, prideful, and sinful I am. Hopefully you get the idea.

Here's to hoping that I'm going to update my blog more regularly!